The IPL Circus is midway. The local watering hole has happily devoid the regulars of the happy hours. Gentlemen are getting used to the evening mood swings, and those who believe that they know better than the mute-worthy commentators are gambling on their predictions with Team elevens. In this evening frenzy, the telly is busy streaming our heroes in new roles.
To help the cricket loving fans get more bang for the muck, there are more camera angles than the players. And when you are in the thick of the action, it’s time for a strategic timeout, 180 seconds of witty-gritty 15 seconder commercials specially made-to-order for this Indian Super Bowl – nah!, doesn’t sound original enough. How about Super Chambu (Cup in Kannada) time?
Cut to Sharukh searching for Ajay searching for Akshay in a foreign land and when they meet – they gesture at each other with their two fingers to connote the spitting style. That was so much fun!!
Fade in to the next 15 seconder and we see the uninitiated Cricketing legends joining the bandwagon. Looks like this category can sign up anyone under the sun - desperate cricketing legends standing right up in the row.
Dressed smartly, sharing a joke, making a statement, and cajoling you - to open your mouth and ha..ha..ha! From the podium of the stadiums, these cricketing legends take a deep dive into to the mucky world of masaledar chewing cud.
Cricketers like Kapil Dev, Sunil Gavaskar, Shewag, and Chris Gayle are now here to stain your screens. To promote sachets of brown dust that once emptied in your mouth churns magically into dripping juices that grow fuller, the harder you chew.
A reddish sticky concoction that could be sprayed to mark territories on the corner walls of government offices, train toilets, movie halls, cricket stadiums and now on your screen - if the match doesn't go your way. Coloured teeth and cancer could be bonus if you continue to their sway. These legendary crickets are the yesteryear premier league cricketers and commentators more active now than ever.
The "clean-cut" imagery of these Gentlemen is our problem. What's wrong if they can chew cud for some dud, you may ask? Well, there is no justification, the sheer willingness to prostitute themselves for a paycheck seems to be a growing fad with Bollywood leading the way. Fans looking up to their heroes as embodiments of discipline, strength, and healthy living, can start looking elsewhere.
Meanwhile, it would be fun to have these chaps go on air commentating during the match while the camera zooms in to the dripping liquid in slow motion. It would add some flavour to the boring commentary perhaps.
During the pre/post-match interviews they could even spit-shake each other for fun and give more visibility. But honestly, full marks to the brands and their agencies for convincing these duds to chew on some brown cud and gain whatever visibility and sound bytes they could garner. Or, was it not that difficult after all?
Hey Whipple, spit this!
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